A couple weeks ago I left my bible study feeling defeated. When it came my turn to read what I had on my verses I mumbled my words and felt like I didn't do a very good job explaining. I always want to be someone who is encouraging and I felt like I wasn't. The rest of the bible study I couldn't concentrate and to be honest, I was just letting it get to me. I came home telling Charlie that I felt like I didn't do a very good job and he reassured me that I did and not to worry about it. I decided to give it my all at the next one and was studying like crazy. I started getting all worked up about it (someone didn't listen to their husband). I couldn't figure out what God wanted to me to say and I didn't want to copy notes from someone. I remember telling Charlie that I wanted God to give me what needed to be said, and what would be the most encouraging. He seemed to do it for other people, why couldn't He do it for me I thought?
Little did I know that he had already done that for me and I had no idea until that night.
We started the bible study and Trina went first. She said something like this:
"Last week Amber said something and I've been thinking about it all week."
"Saaaaaaaay, what?!? The week I came home defeated and felt like I wasn't encouraging? THAT week?" I thought. Trina went on to say that she was encouraged by what I had said.
I wanted to cry. How could I think that God wouldn't use my mumbling along, feeling defeated, to somehow encourage someone? God does that sort of thing. I remember saying that we can't do anything on our own and God gets all the glory. That without Him, we are nothing. She was really encouraged by that.
I'm reminded by this verse in 1 Corinthians 3:7:
"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but
only God who gives the growth."
God gives the growth. He can use me feeling defeated and what felt like a poor explanation to accomplish something that will help some one. God uses the people around us to help encourage us. He put it on Trina's heart to let me know that I was encouraging (Which was so amazing that it still makes me want to cry. Blaming you pregnancy hormones ;-)) Maybe it was for me to just learn to trust Him with my bible studies and to realize that it's not me, it's Him working through me, even in my mumbling. That He can use me any way that He sees fit. How wonderful is that?
"But Moses said to the LORD, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue."Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” Exodus 4:10-12
